The Rock of Inspiration

2/19/10-  This morning I was quite honored to have gotten the “rock of inspiration” from my fitness XL group.  Each morning we vote (silently) on the person who helped inspire us and keep us motivated and then the rock is given to the winner on Friday.  This Friday I had several issues pop up at work and I knew I would need to be there by 7am to get them taken care of (normally I get to work between 7:15-7:20 when the workout is done) so I had to run just as the workout was finishing (but before we got to cooldown and stretch) so it was neat to have the coach hand it to me to on the way out.

After a very long day at work, I met with Camala after work.  Camala is my TriKaya life coach and the two of us met to discuss what personal issues I would like to work on.   Thinking about this,  I realized I would like to be more outgoing and confident in social situations.  Many of my friends say I am perfectly social but most of it is a facade.  A facade in the fact that I CAN be social but it is very socially taxing for me and I do not enjoy it much.  Camala and I discussed how some of the goals I have for my career life will involve networking and just becoming more comfortable in my skin will help me both personally and professionally.

One thing that Camala mentioned to me was to think about when I started to become more introverted.   I couldn’t pinpoint it as I was truly an extrovert growing up.  So, when I was coming home, I called my mom and asked if she could pinpoint an event.  She said my personality definitely became more introverted during a particularly controlling relationship (as in I was controlled/emotionally abused by my signifigant other) I had had. 

As Camala and I talked, one thing came up that I have been thinking about this weekend.  She asked if I had problems when people didn’t “value” me.   I told her I had gotten to a point in my life where I didn’t much care if people liked me or not.  She said “Ryan, liking and valueing are two different things”.  At the time I didn’t quite understand what she meant, but the more and more I thought about it, the more I realized what she had meant.  The relationships (romantic and platonic friendships) that I have been most hurt by and the ones I have had the hardest time getting over, are the ones in which I felt the other person did not value me as a person or did not value the relationship that we had.  Something more to examine in the weeks coming.

2/20/10-   I spent today with my mom and nephew and we went to the park today.  At the toddler park, all of the activities (toys, swings, etc) were at the height of young children.  My nephew and I were on the teeter totter with my mom helping him.  Of course, because my nephew is so little, it was pretty much up to auntie ryan to operate both the “teeter” as well as the “totter”.  Its a good thing I have been doing squats lately because that is pretty much all it was.   And I had to squat low to get him to go up.   It did come to my mind that I would probably be more inclined to do more squats if my nephew was on the other end of the workout machine… smile

2/21/10- Today was weigh in day.  I have lost another 2.6 pounds this week which puts me at 9.8 pounds total lost since Jan 31st!  Whoo hoooo!!

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